Archives For Positive Psychology

I have been published in Oxygen Magazine Australia discussing the annual yo-yo that so many people fall victim to. Allowing yourself to fall off the wagon when the weather cools down, only to blow out then panic when summer starts to approach is not only damaging to your physical health (stressful on your body which can lead to metabolic damage) but is also an extremely negative angle to approach your care for your self from. To only eat and train properly when others can see your body is to negate a love for the true self, which can lead to many more negative spirals of thought. Consuming the nutrients that your body requires and ensuring that you are not at risk of any of the modern diseases associated with inactivity, obesity and an unhealthy diet should be important to you for reasons much deeper than what others will think. To choose to prioritise your health because you care about your physical and mental well-being instead sets off a positive domino effect of thought patterns, choices and further action.

Here you can see a sneak peek of the article.

To subscribe to the magazine, go to the Oxygen Magazine Australia website HERE or to follow their updates, check out their Facebook page HERE

 

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“I need to find myself” – a very commonly used phrase for when people go off soul-searching. I believe that this is a very important thing to do, but I don’t necessarily agree with the need to stop your entire life and disappear off into the sunset. By all means, if that’s what you feel like doing, then knock yourself out, but what if you are feeling a little bit hollow but are not in a position to drop everything and go? It is not always a realistic option to stop day-to-day life in its tracks without there being serious repercussions.

Very often this can lead to a situation of feeling trapped – you need something to change but you are locked into responsibilities left, right and centre. I have often found myself in this situation, and the truth is that you don’t even need to be unhappy with your life in order to experience this. I love what I do and this year has been the most exciting in my life, where I am finally able to more than ever do what I love, and I am so grateful for this. However it is also the year where I have needed to work harder than ever before with no days off, sometimes for weeks on end, without a single day off to myself.

No matter how passionate you are about what you do and how much praise you receive for all of your achievements, work is not everything. For the last 5 months work has been my everything, and while I knew that this was necessary to do everything that I wanted to do in the time-frame that I wanted, in the last few weeks  I was starting to feel an overwhelming sensation that I was losing touch with my true self.

This is why I have not posted for a few weeks. In a moment where you realise that you need to reconnect with yourself, the most important thing you can do is give yourself time, just like you would with any other relationship. Most people forget that we actually need to have a relationship with ourselves. We need to spend time listening to our needs, treat ourselves to things that we love and allow ourselves to be heard. Communication, trust, respect and many of the other central values that must be upheld in order to make a relationship successful with another person are equally important to uphold with yourself, yet this is where so many of us fail.

I had a whole bunch of achievements that I wanted to tick off, and they were being crossed off the list consistently, which brought me a lot of satisfaction, but there were days where I felt like an empty shell that could no longer switch off from work mode. I love writing and I love working with people and helping them achieve their goals. There was however no Me time happening, and that is where I was failing to take care of myself.

Now I could not take time off work – sometimes this is simply not an option, so if you find yourself in this situation I encourage you to simply give yourself a few weeks where you trim off everything that is optional in your life and only keep doing what is necessary. Do this for about 4-6 weeks and spend the time that opens up, even if it is only 5 minutes in a day, doing something that is all about you, and is not in any way oriented towards a specific goal – just something that you feel like doing.

For me that was music. I have always played, sung and loved listening to music for as long as I can remember; I have been making time recently to start playing the piano again and to just sit back and listen to music, and I feel like a totally new person. I unfortunately have lost my voice with the flu that is going around so am unable to sing, but absolutely intend to get back into that as well. The time that you give to yourself just to be you and to do what makes you happy, whether it be reading a book, getting pampered, going for a walk somewhere beautiful, meditating, or anything else that will replenish you, is essential at all times, but of particular importance to bring back when you are feeling drained and disconnected.

This trimming down of life to the bare minimum will create the space for growth, but of course must come with an expiry date. Without adopting this minimalist approach, you will just not find the time to be with yourself, but conversely, if you let this drag on without placing a limit on it then work and other commitments will begin to suffer. Be realistic about how long you can leave each commitment to its own devices and set specific timeframes so that you can be organised and don’t spend your newly found time worrying about the things you are not doing. Often when we are under pressure we can start to believe that everything is SO URGENT that is simply must have our attention at all points in time. Try staying off emails and away from the phone for a few hours and you will quickly learn that this is simply not the case.

We all need the time to reflect; we all need the time to decide what we want next ,but this will only happen when the chatter of the external world is allowed to stop for a moment and you are able to turn your attention inwards and simply spend some time being with yourself.

I am very happy to announce that I have been published on another online blog. This time it’s my first ever post on positive psychology. I share my views on achieving happiness – it’s all about mindset and learning to practice gratitude. The post can be read HERE

Once upon a time I ripped a hole in myself and underwent a horrible experience getting stitched back up. As part of the process I discovered that my body does not take well to general anaesthetic nor to morphine (fun!), and in the process I experienced months of unhappiness, issues managing my body fat, mood, and had not invested in such a wonderful support network as I have nowadays (you live and you learn). The end result was that I had some rubbish months recovering from that situation. Nowadays it’s just a scar, and every now and then the carbon fibre gauze in my left hand lower abdomen has the layers of tissue healed through it rip apart. For a few days thereafter, depending upon how big this is, any twisting motion results in the sensation of being stabbed.

While you may think that such an injury might not in any way relate to you, I would like to point out that my first hernia happened outside of a gym. I had in fact never set foot in a gym yet. I just had a weak core and pushed a table in the wrong way and BAM. That was is. Our cores keep us upright, stable and our insides on our insides properly. A weak core can lead to all manner of health issues from back pain through poor posture, through to similar injuries such as mine that can lead to the operating table.

My second hernia was a gym related incident, and I will admit that it was in a time when I had less awareness of safety and on the vulnerability of the body at all times when care is not taken to push to your limits and to question those limits, but to also always listen to that firm voice in your head that says “This is a stupid idea – you are not ready for this. You will hurt yourself”. I was much less experienced and was preparing for a power lifting competition (which I never got to do) and I was pushing too hard too fast. I had become physically capable of holding and moving around weights that my core was not strong enough to support. So I went for some ridiculous lifts on a day when I wasn’t feeling completely on top of my game and BAM – AGAIN!

Needless to say, my second hernia left me pretty unwilling to revisit the operating table. Luckily, I had an option. While I was told that I probably would need surgery, it was a direct inguinal hernia that came from a spot of weakness in the core. It was a long shot, but with adequate rest, rehab and gradual and sensible introduction of exercise and core strengthening I might not need surgery. Here is where I discovered body-weight training and my beloved rings. Here is also where I discovered GMB Fitness, who make some really nifty plans for people who are keen to learn about gymnastic training but making it accessible to people who may not have a gymnastics background.

So I learned a lot from them, and you can read a bit more about the experience of my recovery from my injury HERE. Nowadays I am once again able to lift heavy and never needed surgery, but I train my core religiously and more than anything else, have learned to listen to that little voice that talks sense to me when I’m tempted to do something silly.

Enjoy and I hope that you find this helpful.

I am very happy to have another guest post up today – this time on Nardia Norman’s website. My post is on goal setting and on checking that your goals are aligned with your true self. You can read the post by clicking HERE.

Another great read that went up today which goes hand in hand with this is a piece written by Nardia herself on what values are, which can be found HERE.

Enjoy!

S

I would like to share this both as a site to sign yourself up for, but specifically this blog post too. Vulnerability is so important – it is only when you are feeling vulnerable in some way that you know that you are allowing yourself to grow as a person. The familiar is comfortable, but the familiar is just more of the same – the novel requires expanding horizons and this comes with uncertainty, fear, vulnerability, but also opportunity and wonder.

This Post goes into the feelings around vulnerability, but also shares one of my all-time favourite TED talks on the power of vulnerability. Definitely worth every moment so make the time to have a listen – it’s hilarious as well as incredibly mind opening.

Nardia Normal is somebody I believe everybody should follow. She is an excellent personal trainer, having recently been awarded with Personal Trainer of the year, but also has a wonderful approach to life, prioritising all aspects of health, and giving so much back to everyone around her. She has also recently published her book “Fat Attack”, which just arrived in the mail for me, and I’m very much looking forward to having a read of, where she debunks many fat myths and has a close look at the deceptive views on fat loss that we are being fed (pun very much intended).

In case you skipped over the hyperlink above, just click HERE

“Do one thing today that frightens you” – there is a lot to this saying. While many of us might be getting a little tired of the constant overuse of inspirational quotes, THIS IS A GOOD ONE! We all have the capacity for personal growth when we are stretched and forced to work through a struggling situation. If you do not do anything new to challenge yourself then you cannot expect to grow as a person.

A common cause of unhappiness in the lives of many people is derived from an inability to find meaning in life. The truth is that meaning and sense of purpose is not some mysterious little bubble floating around waiting to crash into you – it is your responsibility to create your meaning and purpose for living, otherwise you are just existing. Mere existence results in stagnation and boredom, and it is in your hands to prevent this from occurring.

You may have experienced a moment when you achieve something that you had previously believed to be impossible and completely out of your grasp. This opens a door of endless opportunity, and this is why I like to incorporate challenges into my own and my clients’ training from time to time. You see, it’s not about the training itself, but rather about experiencing the sense of achievement and the empowerment that is unlocked through the completion of the challenge.

When something you believe to be impossible becomes reality then this brings other “impossibilities” in your life under the microscope – might they also be within your grasp? You may begin to question what else is not truly out of your reach. You may be more motivated to begin another project or challenge that you might not have otherwise attempted.

I wanted to communicate this right now because I have just embarked on a pretty intense physical challenge – the T Nation 10000 Kettle-bell Swing challenge. You can keep up to date with how I’m doing with this across any of my social media (links all to the right). I don’t remember the last time when I tried to talk myself out of going to the gym, but I was in that space on Tuesday. Monday’s workout had tears from the burn. I’m finally getting into the groove of it, but I’m only 1500 swings in. I will hit that next wall at any moment, and want to share my thoughts and learned lessons through the experience.

I am also very excited to announce that I just yesterday pitched an idea and have received the thumbs up for running a seminar here at Bondi Fitness First on growth through challenging yourself. I am aiming to run this around mid to late June, and will be running it together with a challenge immediately to follow. Both will be free, and the challenge will not be mandatory to everyone attending the seminar, but you will get the most out of this if you do participate. Make sure that you keep an eye out in the coming weeks and please flag with me in the meantime if you would be interested in attending, as we are going to start looking at locking in a date based on initial interest very soon.

I was a gamer all through my adolescent years, work with numbers and I have a bit of an addiction to TED talks so I instantly liked this speaker. But where she goes with her talk was so inspiring and touching.

Do not under-estimate the importance of play and games. It can bring us together, but it can also help us in difficult times. This talk also covers the most frequent regrets shared by people on their death-beds. Take note of this – you may be able to identify with some of these, and if so it is time to give this some thought.

http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonigal_the_game_that_can_give_you_10_extra_years_of_life#

Enjoy

S

What do the following phrases have in common?

“I could never do that”,

“I’m just not that type of person”,

“I wish I could do that”.

These are all very common phrases that I hear people say when referring to goals that are perceived of as being unachievable or too difficult, in particular to do with their health and fitness. These are also highly disempowering statements. All three contain an underlying assumption that these are stable characteristics of the person which are being voiced, therefore removing any potential for even starting to consider change.

It is important to remember that whenever you say something out loud, you are “putting it out there” into the world. It is no longer just something that exists in your head, but in a way takes on a form that is much more real, and much more dangerous for your mindset. Hear something often enough, and you will start to believe it as the truth – this is only further amplified if you are the one saying it in the first place.

There is a lot of very interesting research being done at the moment on change, which I am delving into, so you can expect to read lots more about this. In the meantime I would like you to set yourself a small challenge:

Whenever you catch yourself saying something negative about yourself in this way that implies an inability to change, try to rephrase it. Reword the sentence so that it becomes a description about where you are right now, and where possible, add something that implies a willingness to change rather than helplessness. For example, the sentences above could be rephrased to:

“I am not able to something like that on board at the moment”,

“That is really not my head-space right now”,

“I would love to learn more about what it takes to do that”.

Have a think about how these changes open the doors for possibility instead of accepting the current state of affairs as being an unchanging reality that must be accepted.

I wanted to share this TED talk. I have been spending a lot of time listening to lectures on here as of late. I cannot recommend spending time listening to TED talks enough – inspiration and knowledge across many disciplines free for everybody. It’s a playground of mental stimulation, provided by some of the most incredible minds across the planet.

This talk is on the topic of positive psychology; an emerging area of psychology which focuses on well-being. Rather than being based on the absence of pathology, this area takes health one step further and aims to answer the questions on how somebody could be their absolute best. Now while old research assistant me would have looked at this area with narrowed eyes, I have to say that nowadays living in the land of training and working with people at a much closer distance, I have an increasing fascination and excitement with this area. Here is the link to the talk, and I hope that you find it as exciting as I do:

P.S. This guy is also quite funny – I especially love the statistics jokes, because I’m lame and embrace it 😉

Enjoy.

S x