Why Doing Something Because Someone Said You Couldn’t is a Rubbish Motivator

March 9, 2014 — Leave a comment

“Do it because they said you couldn’t”

This is plastered all over the alleged ‘fitsporation’ that exists out in social media and active-wear, and I have a few issues with this. I don’t want to get into a massive philosophical debate, but ultimately, I believe the following:

1. Any motivator that comes from within will always be more powerful. If you are doing something just to try to prove someone else wrong, what is going to happen to that motivation when that someone stops caring about what you’re doing? When you place your motivation externally to yourself, your process becomes vulnerable, as it depends upon how that external person/people/circumstances react and behave towards your process. The truth is you are not the centre of anyone else’s universe, and the sooner you can come to terms with that the better. You are the centre of your own universe, and you should matter to yourself – A LOT. Love and nurture yourself, and along with that, find your motivation within yourself, because nobody can take that away from you.

2. This is a motivator based on negativity – do you really want to feed yourself that? How compelling is it really to just try to make other people angry? Are you really that spiteful a person? Most people aren’t, and that kind of behaviour gets old pretty quickly. Instead, what about do it because every part of your yearns to succeed? Is that not more powerful? You need to find motivators that are compelling and will not dwindle on you if you really want to be able to achieve something bigger than yourself. This is very difficult to achieve in a negative mind-state and to do something just to try to prove others wrong is actually a very toxic motivator, because it’s all about reminding yourself about the negativity around you. Remember, we all have good and bad things in our lives, and usually the difference between people who are happy and those who are not is what they choose to focus on. How about you focus on the people who support you and believe in you – make it about following your dreams and making those who have your back proud. To me that is much more powerful. Don’t have a support network? Another unfortunate truth is that when you set out to do something, you will lose friends. I won’t go into detail on that here as it’s a bit off topic, but many people dislike and fear change – you will always be able to find someone though, but it can take time and effort, and again if you are projecting negativity out in every direction, positive and nurturing people are not going to come to you – why would they? It is your responsibility to be the kind of person that those people want to be around if that’s what you actually want to surround yourself by.

3. This one is a bit more just my opinion. Seriously, this is just a little bit immature. It feels akin to the 7-year-old running away to make a point to the parents. Just get on with it. There will always be people who doubt others. Don’t let their opinions dominate your state of mind and your behaviour. Remember, chances are that after they walk away, you might not even be on their mind. Don’t give them any more time in your head – it is you who is choosing to keep thinking about the negative things they have said long after they’ve left. It’s not worth the pain that it can cause to your happiness.

Let it go. Be happy. Do what you want for you, to make you happy, and be happy. Those that matter will see the value of this and you will find that day after day it becomes easier to keep the “I’ll show you” attitude at bay. Peace out.

S x

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